


I Trust You

by Fighting_for_Creativity



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bots mentioned, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Established Relationship, M/M, Mention of Other Kinks, Natasha Romanova mentioned, No Beta, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Prelude to Sex, Steve Feels, Steve consults the internet, Steve learning about kink, Trust Issues, knifeplay as exercise of trust, the internat knows plenty things but sometimes we really don't want that knowledge, tony stark mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:15:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28476039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fighting_for_Creativity/pseuds/Fighting_for_Creativity
Summary: After what Hydra did to Bucky, the man has lost his trust in himself.Steve tries to find a solution for them and Nat is very insightful.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Kudos: 7
Collections: Bucky Barnes Bingo 2020, Stucky Bingo 2020





	I Trust You

**Author's Note:**

> a tiny bit of background:
> 
> They all live happily in the tower, Bucky is healing, Steve is mother henning everyone but coops with the loss of his past yet is a very supportive boyfriend for Bucky, Natasha is her usual badass but a tender soul inside towards her makeshift family, and Tony and Bucky have bounded over the bots.
> 
> About the kinks, please note that those opinions Steve expresses aren't mine. I just imagined Steve being new to everything and coming across those would need a breather for kidnapping and dollification would cut too close to home (considering Bucky's background)

Back in the times when Bucky and Steve shared an apartment in the rundown part of Brooklyn, they didn't have much, but at least they had each other. They knew each other inside out. And Steve meant outside as well as inside. 

  
Whenever they deemed their neighbors too busy to listen, or out of the house or had been able to sneak away to Mary’s, a friend of them who had the same illicit taste as Steve and Bucky, they explored each other's bodies thoroughly. 

Steve had his first kiss not with a pretty brunette dame, but his best friend.

Steve also had his first time with him, and plenty of other times after, binding the two in a way Steve never had felt again after. So, despite all the difficulties it took them to get to this point again, Steve wouldn’t back out of it.

The blond believed that he and Bucky belonged together, and saw it in Bucky’s gaze that the brunet felt the same. Yet, recovering from Hydra made it hard for his lover to trust himself with anything as precious as Steve. At least that had been Bucky’s words when Steve had asked him why they didn’t even hug anymore.

Unsure what to do, Steve’s first reaction had been to pummel a punching bag until that broke and Natasha’s gentle coaxing got him out of the training room and into her apartment.

  
She hadn’t said anything. Just watched him stew in his own misery until Steve broke and told her what bothered him. “I trust him, Nat. I trust him with myself and with everything I am and I just wish for him to trust himself as well.”

Steve hadn’t expected her to give him any kind of solution. Therefore he was pleasantly surprised, and slightly plenty embarrassed when she told him of Kinks and that for her knifeplay is a thing of trust. That the Soldat had taught the little widows how the blade of a knife should never touch their skin unless they had complete faith in the person holding the blade. Which had translated to only themselves but that wasn’t the point Natasha had tried to make, Steve knew.

After his talk with Natasha, Steve decided to research this whole kink thing. He was rather proud that he didn’t just close the computer after the first mention of kinks like kidnapping kink, scat kink and dollification kink. ‘ _Gosh darn. Why would someone want this?_ ’ Steve took a breath. ‘ _Well… It’s not something I ever will entertain the idea of but… I guess if someone finds this good??? I really don’t know how to feel about this- there are so many- get back on track Steve!'_ This time he took a short break from the research and walked the length of his apartment twice, before shrugging and continuing. 

By the end of the day, he felt comfortable and confident in his knowledge of the kink and what was needed for it. The next morning Steve went shopping, a waterproof bedsheet and some other waterproofed sheets he could use for his bedroom floor. When everything was prepared he texted Tony, knowing that Bucky was hanging out with Tony. It was Wednesday after all and every Wednesday Bucky got his arm checked and would then stay in the workshop to enjoy a ‘companionable solitude’ as he had told Steve. ‘ _Not that I’m not aware of the real reason, Bucky. You just want to spend time with Dum-E._ ’ 

Somehow the clumsy robot and Bucky had struck a fast friendship and apparently the way into Tony’s good grace and building a real friendship with him was to treat his bots as friends and family.

The clicking of his bedroom door woke Steve out of his musing and he smiled softly when his eyes landed on Bucky’s frame. “Ya asked Tony to send me up?” The gravelly voice of his best friend and lover was without a fail the one thing that could calm and simultaneously wreck Steve.

“Yes. I… Bucky I know you don’t trust yourself with me but… I’d like for us to try something. Because I trust you and I know you won’t hurt me.”

While Bucky’s gaze had been open before, it became guarded now. “Stevie…”

“I know. Please. Just listen and… and if you really can’t bear this I won’t ever talk about it again.”

Blue eyes implored grey ones, Steve begging with all but his body for Bucky to give this a chance. After a long while, Bucky gave a hesitant nod and finally closed the bedroom door, coming closer to Steve.

The blond hadn’t known how high the tension had set in his body before he relaxed, shoulders dropping and a soft earnest smile stealing itself on his lips. Mustering his courage Steve started to explain what he wanted Bucky to do. With every word, Bucky tensed more. By the end, he looked as if he was going to be sick.

  
“You can’t mean that!”

  
“But I do Bucky. I really do.”

“You’re insane!”

  
“Maybe. But I trust you. I trust you with myself and I trust you with everything that is me. I want you to be able to trust yourself again. I know how good with a knife you are. You know all the points and pressure you would need to not damage me and I want you to see and feel that confidence too!” While he spoke Steve started to undress his shirt, putting it aside before grabbing the knife he had nicked from Bucky’s stash under the couch.

The indignation coloring Bucky’s voice was a short relief, “So it was you! Nat tried to convince me it was Clint who made grabby hands at my knives.”

Steve chuckled softly. He walked closer, opening up his body language, trying to show Bucky how honest, how true to his belief he was, before dropping to his knees in front of the man who held his heart. “That’s kinda not the point, but yes that was me, Bucks.”

Then he held out the knife, blade towards himself, looking up at Bucky. Steve gnawed nervously on his bottom lip. “You can have it back. I just… I want you to use it on me Bucky. Please trust in yourself.”  
  


They stared into each other’s eyes for quite some time, so much so that Steve could start feeling the tendrils of nervousness and doubt trying to make him back out. ‘ _I have to keep strong now. If I back out now, Bucky won’t ever trust himself because he will think I don’t trust him!_ ’

  
A hesitant hand reached for the knife. “We stop when I say that it ends.”

It wasn’t a question and it wasn’t what Steve had expected. However, it was all Steve had hoped for because it was Bucky’s consent. Bucky agreed to try this with him. Steve felt the rush of endorphins coursing through his veins. A big happy smile spread and his lips parted for his reply to pass, “No hardship there. Because I trust you, Bucky.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> #### Bingo Fill
> 
> BBB  
> Title: I Trust You  
> Square Filled: C4 Kink: Knifeplay  
> Author: J_Gun_i  
> Pairing: Stucky  
> Rating: M  
> Warnings: trust issues, knifeplay as a solution, pre-lude to sex, mention of other kinks Steve discovers on the internet  
> Summary: After what Hydra did to Bucky, the man has lost his trust in himself.  
> Steve tries to find a solution for them and Nat is very insightful.  
> Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28476039
> 
> Stucky Bingo  
> Title: I Trust You  
> Creator(s): Fighting_for_Creativity  
> Card number: 001  
> Square filled: A 2 Reunion  
> Rating: M  
> Archive warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply  
> Major Tags: Trust Issues, not betaed, knife play as trust exercise, Steve researches Kink on the internet  
> Summary: After what Hydra did to Bucky, the man has lost his trust in himself.  
> Steve tries to find a solution for them and Nat is very insightful.  
> Word count: 1179


End file.
